First things first, as a man myself and as many men would testify we truly sympathize with the womenfolk of the world who are oppressed by their male partners, fathers, uncles and society as a whole. I understand; women inequality is rampant. It’s everywhere. And yes, it is a real problem and no one is denying that – well maybe the Saudis. And although we may never stop fighting against such stone-age logic, we sure can do something about it right now.
But is ‘feminism’ really the answer? I don’t think so and let me share why.
1. The word ‘feminism’ itself is toxic to the very idea of equality.
Remember President George W. Bush’s line to the American people before he waged war on Iraq? “If you’re not with us you’re with them (the terrorists).” Now imagine where that left those who didn’t want to go to war but were clearly not siding with Mr. Osama. That’s right, they were lost for words. They were put into a situation where neither was acceptable. This is fairly similar to how I feel about feminism. “If you’re not a feminist then you’re a scum, women-hater, bias towards men, etc.” What they fail to realize however is that by merely advocating the slogans of “feminism”, feminists have alienated the grammatical implications of the word equality in social discourse. How does one advocate the rhetoric of equality between men and women when the word FEMINism itself carries such a feminine connotation? Think about how the black community attained freedom during the 1960s. They saw a clear injustice and acted upon it by coming into “common terms” with the white majority. They advocated the slogans of humanity and the need to dissolve the differences between white and black. Feminism advocates the very opposite. They hold the assumption that all women should inherently be feminists and men should “revert” to this mode of thinking. This flaw in logic is the culprit behind why many men can’t stand feminism. We don’t require ‘feminism’ to teach us about equality. We were all inherently born with the concept.
And so, the problem isn’t about men vs. women, it’s truly about us as each individuals. We are all free spirits. We each have a soul and we each have our own mind. Feminism is about gender equality. And that’s exactly what I don’t find in feminism. I find hypocrisy and a lot of it. Feminism screams against “objectification” but then objectify men for their abs, looks, money and status. They claim to be for equal rights but only advocate for one gender. They claim to be for “choice” but are constantly policing other women and telling what is “okay for women to do.” And so, whatever the dictionary definition of feminism is, I just don’t see equal standards being applied on both sides in practice.
2. Yes, everyone should be a feminist.
But before that we should all be humanists. They’re both the same anyway right? Well, that’s what I thought till I saw a feminist ranting her ass off on why she can’t get a job because all her potential employers wanted was “a pretty face to look at across their office windows”. I’m assuming it may not have crossed her mind that they saw through her egotistical, self-centered façade she was hoping to bring to the company. Not to mention, the failure to consider other reasons why she may have been rejected. Instead she passes the blame onto the “other” – a characteristic which is probably going to leave her with as many friends as Judas.
Perhaps we need a different word. A word that is more indicative of ‘equality’ in syntax. A more ‘inclusive’ word. To give you an idea of the implications that words make in situations like these, allow me to create my own new word (hehe):
GENDERIST: a person who supports gender equality between men AND women.
FEMINIST: a person who supports gender equality between men AND women.
Hello, my name is Carl and I’m a GENDERIST. I believe in equal rights for both men and women and make no distinction between either in political, social and/or physical privileges.The difference?
Hello, my name is Carl and I’m a FEMINIST. I believe in equal rights for both men and women and make no distinction between either in political, social and/or physical privileges.
The words we choose can have a profound impact on how we categorize information in our minds. Because the word FEMINIST has such a feminine connotation it feels out of sync when compared with a word which doesn’t discriminate in its suggestion, implication or association despite both words sharing identical definitions.
3. It’s a business world and I’m a businessman. I don’t care whether you’re male or female or what you look like. If I feel you’ll bring value into my company I have no problem in hiring you.
This is the first of the cliché. The biggest argument I hear from feminists is that they are discriminated against by potential employers. And although at times there are grounds for such cases, the fact is we are discriminated against in every interview we walk into. We are discriminated against the way we talk, what we wear, how we do our hair, our ethnicity, our age and the list can potentially reach infinite if your employer just doesn’t want to hire you. The fact is, all your potential employers will judge you. And some will judge more than others. Why?
4. Because companies are looking to reduce risk, potential downtime and any potential obstacles which may interfere in the daily running of their business.
Judging provides a safety net. It’s a survival mechanism. And in the world of market speculation, judging is all we have to reduce our risks of failure. And if feminists feel they don’t fall in this category then they’re delusional. For, at their crux is the notion that ALL men are either genetically or socially conditioned to be evil. So then the question arises, why are their wage gaps between men and women of the same occupation and identical hours of work? According to award winning labor economist Francine Blau1 she argues that we actually don’t know the answer. It could be discrimination but it could also be other factors that employers know about which reflect productivity. This can include anything from motivation, work commitment, negotiating skills to a host of other factors. Fortunately I have a little scoop on this issue from personal experience because I used to work under a female employer who would rarely hire women – weird I know. Upon asking her why she said, “girls talk way too much and somehow always instigate drama which reflects poorly on our sales numbers.” I understood that it was wrong for her to discriminate in such a way, but realized that she reserved the right to make such judgment calls in her hiring decisions. But more importantly, it gave me an insight as to the level at which employers examine situations and make decisions. Although she made sweeping generalizations like these all the time her store ranked top sales in Canada. Talk about irony!
5. Instead of criticizing others as being “male-bias” or “women-bias” use the words “right and wrong.”
This is probably the most important thing which we could all use more often to tackle this issue. Remember, the problem of women inequality is a problem which originates in the ego-complex of the mind and is therefore something which we need to tackle through our words and through understanding one another. Let’s imagine you’re in a confrontation with a male counterpart who seems to think women should live in the kitchen. When you say “that is wrong” you are sending out the subliminal message that this is something intrinsically against “humanity”. And so, what you have done is put him on his feet and made him question his own views because humanity is something we all share in common. No one wants to be morally “wrong” and if being right requires us to adapt a different view, we will. However what I hear most of the time are things which are completely counter intuitive to solving the issue. Many times I see feminists getting hot-tempered, aggressive and outright rude. They begin accusing the man of being a ‘women-hater’ and by attacking the person the feminist successfully distances herself even further from fixing the problem.
6. On behalf of all men, we’re sorry. Being dominant is our natural male instinct.
No, I am not resting my case of feminist ranting on the fact that sexual dimorphism exists. We all know it exists, even feminists do. The point I’m trying to convey is that of the lion and the lioness. The lion will do whatever it takes to protect his physically weaker lioness. That includes courting her, loving her and defending her against enemy attacks. These traits are naturally exhibited in humans too but to a more profound extent. We open the doors for women not because we find them physically inept, but because it is a show of respect and dominance. Men will display their dominance everywhere they go. In the cars they drive, in the homes they buy and other assets which prove them more socially, financially and physically well off. They will display their dominance to both genders particularly towards women they find physically attracted too (duh!). So to all the feminists out there fuming over why every man thinks they need to be “saved,” please take into consideration the fact that we may be genetically programmed to somewhat ‘show-off’ our muscularity to the opposite sex.
And a promise to all feminists; the day men don’t have to open doors for women, or buy them gifts or pay for their dinners to win them over, will be the day men all over the known universe will rejoice. It is but women as well who are at play in promoting such a culture. And to deny that would be to deny reality!